Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.