your thong is hanging out like whoa
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
