Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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