i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
well most of my day revolves around power hour
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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