I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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