At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
