there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
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