Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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