apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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