Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i just google imaged poop.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
