please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
