Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
