I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
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Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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