What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Randomize
