Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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