Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
