I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
