please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
