Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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