tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
