My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Randomize
