i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
