evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
3pm strippers are depressing
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
