I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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