I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Someone shit on the floor
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
