I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
