were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
