So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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