Screwed.edu
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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