This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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