I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
