Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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