The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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