Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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