and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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