She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
