i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We had to coat check the pizza.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
