piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
