i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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