He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
