I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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