Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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