i just wanna soil my oats bro
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
