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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
