I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
