I can text with my tongue
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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