i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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