Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....