I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
