We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize