I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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