Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
