I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
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Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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