I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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