the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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